Interview: Kiona Sinks -Community Advocate and Social & Civic Innovator
We like to take time to highlight women we see out in the world doing their part to make the world a little nicer. In this Real Nice Lady Spotlight, we’re talking to Kiona Sinks, Community Advocate and Social & Civic Innovator, about her path to community advocacy in Kansas City and how she’s pivoting her work in a pandemic.
Job Title/Profession
I describe myself as a Community Advocate and Social & Civic Innovator. I know a lot of people use job titles but when it's all said and done, the shared life experiences that I've been able to accumulate with community efforts have allowed me the opportunity to be an advocate.
Favorite Drink?
I go to Underdog Wines and they have a wine that's from Germany that I've been enjoying lately. It's this Weinhaus Schloss Koblenz Sweet Red Wine. Ryan, the owner of Underdog Wines, knows I'm getting the exact same bottle of wine every time I go in there.
Favorite Food?
Spaghetti. My grandma makes the best kind.
Karaoke Song?
"They Don't Know" by Jon B.
What song are you listening to on repeat right now?
I've been listening to the "Black Lives Matter" playlist on Spotify. It's a really good mix so I have it on when I'm working.
Female icon you would be for Halloween?
I would have to say Serena Williams. She's powerful. She's herself. She stands in her conviction. So if I were to be anybody, I would want to be her.
Telling as little or as much as you want, how are you feeling these days?
A lot of interesting things are taking place in our country and in our city right now. George Floyd's death definitely struck a chord with our community and there are a lot of community conversations that we're having that most of us weren't having before. These days for me, it's been mixed feelings.
On one hand, you have hope that things will change and that we'll be the next generation that can cultivate change. On the other hand, I'm a black woman in America and I'm a black woman in Kansas City. I can't erase how I look, I can't take away what I am so how do I navigate a society full of racism that is really not built for me. As a black person, or any person with a soul, when you see that virtual murder of George Floyd for 8 minutes, you know this is happening all over our country. I think we have a lot of work to do and it's not going to happen overnight. I'm trying to be hopeful and think that it won't be another hashtag or another black square. I really hope people take this opportunity to really educate themselves and usher some long term change into place.
When George Floyd passed and even with Ahmaud Arbery, I wasn't in a good spot. I needed to mourn and I didn't realize it until it was a week later and I just broke down. Now, I'm focused on what I can do to cultivate this change. Whether it's on my podcast or giving back or highlighting something or just having a relationship in this, what am I going to do to make my space better?
What part(s) of your life during the pandemic have made you rethink your "normal" life?
I already knew that I was always running around and away from home a lot but the pandemic has made me think about just how much. I just moved into my new loft and I spent yesterday cleaning out my closet. If there was no pandemic, I probably would've let the moving boxes sit there for another six months. Just being able to spend more time at home or work in my pajamas, there are so many small things that we didn't realize we took for granted before.
I think COVID-19 gave everybody, no matter who you are, an opportunity to really think about how they live their lives. I've been taking time to focus more on my wellness and focus on things that make me better. I'm not very good at taking care of myself in that way so I'm using this time to better myself mentally and emotionally outside of community activism because it will make me a better activist.
How has the pandemic changed how you approach community activism and advocacy?
I had to pivot my work immediately because I couldn't hold any of my normal community events. I launched my podcast that I never thought I would have launched and it's taken off. It’s opened me up to new opportunities and I'm connected with new people in conversations that have been happening before these recent protests but now the world is finally catching up to us.
There’s a symbolic opportunity that the pandemic has given me to reach people I might not have reached before all of this. People at home can attend my events on their phones and computers from their couches that they would not have attended before. I've been holding these webinars, White Allies: No Excuses, and I've been shocked at the turnout. Not just because we're focusing on race relations and having more conversations about it but that people are seeking me out and paying me for my knowledge. It's been really easy for me to think about how I can cultivate and continue this online.
Do you see this virtual pivot being a long term thing in your business?
I think in the beauty of all of this, we're able to pivot our communities online because everyone is doing that right now. We're all working from home and having virtual meetings and doing all these things that people insisted we do in person before. I definitely see this being a long term effort for me to change my platform and change the conversations we're having.
What first attracted you to your current profession?
I would say my interest in community advocacy began in my undergrad. When Michael Brown lost his life, there was this energy in Ferguson, similar to what we've seen with Ahmaud Arbery and Sandra Bland, this energy in the community that we're seeing now. I had no intention of being implemented into my school's cultural success but that's what God had planned for me. I founded the African American Student Union at Central Methodist University and it changed my life. If I had not had that experience in college, I would not be doing anything like what I'm doing now. Maybe I would know the people who are part of these movements but I don't think I would be involved in this community to the extent that I am now. It was difficult because I was entering a predominantly white space as a black woman who couldn't see myself in this institution. This is the kind of school that's showing Remember the Titans and The Pursuit of Happyness for Black History Month. But I had a mentor ask me about my legacy and what I wanted to leave at this school. And I'm like, Leave my legacy? I'm a sophomore. I'm just trying to eat ramen noodles and take naps.
When the University of Missouri had all those protests in 2015 and their president, Tim Wolfe, stepped down, a professor that I had at the time decided to ask me about it in the middle of class. He didn't agree with Tim Wolfe stepping down and didn't understand why these things were taking place so he confronted me in class to ask my opinion. After telling him that this was a conversation that we all needed to be having, I decided to make the jump and sent an email to the president of my university to start cultivating my own community. It was a total change after that. I was running Black History Month, I was implementing programming, I was in contact with the Vice President, the President, the Board of Trustees. For a sophomore to have an open-door policy with the president of the university, I was able to work closely with the university and even make the mistakes that would've been bigger risks had I not had this connection. This gave me a strong foundation for community implementation, cultural sensitivity, and the building blocks of starting organizations.
After graduation, I moved to Kansas City and I haven't looked back. All of that helped to cultivate my community advocacy and set a tone for my path. I really had to figure all of this out and now it's my career. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming but I have a long way to go and this is just the start.
What advice would you give other women trying to succeed in your industry?
Two things: Just start. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I began on the premise of self-doubt. If you delay, you'll let that self-doubt take over rather than let it fuel you to begin. Also, regardless of what you may see on social media, nobody builds a business/initiative alone. I have a lot of help and support and that has been the backbone of my confidence moving forward. So ask for help.
What was a formative moment in your life that made you who you are?
I left a relationship that was toxic where I had put myself on the back-burner for so long. But it's less of a formative "moment" and more of a formative process. It reminded me that intentional self-work/self-discipline is my greatest power that no one can take away from me. I didn't bounce back, I bounced forward. The habits I learned in the process are fundamental tools for living a life that fulfills me.
When do you feel the strongest in your life? When do you feel the most vulnerable in your life?
My strength is what makes me vulnerable. Isn't that all of us? I am strongest when I am able to empathize with someone, put myself in their shoes and understand them without judgment. I am most vulnerable when I open up too much, aware that there is a possibility of me being taken advantage of or taken for granted.
What do you want for the future of your industry?
I want more opportunities for people like me. More opportunities in leadership and in power so that people can find the Kionas of the world and pull them forward because people have done it for me. We also need more white allies. During this time of social justice, we need our white allies to dismantle systemic racism because we can't do it by ourselves. We need them to educate themselves and learn so we can start teaching our children about this. I don't want us to be having the same conversations with our children. I want our years on Earth to be blessings instead of curses.
What advice would you give other women trying to succeed in your industry?
The rules are off the table. Do whatever you want to do because taking the risk gets you closer than not taking the risk. When you surround yourself with like-minded women and like-minded opportunities, your success rate goes up. Don't let anyone tell you what you can't do; show them what you can do.
What was a formative moment in your life that made you who you are?
I would say how my grandmother raised me was so formative. Being the first grandchild and getting that personal TLC, she gave me a strong foundation of love and security. I think she helped get me to where I am because she taught me the basics of building myself up.
When do you feel the strongest in your life? When do you feel the most vulnerable in your life?
I feel strongest when things are going well or the way I expected them to go. Times like we're having right now, where things are getting canceled or changed all the time and you don't know what's going to happen – that's when I feel vulnerable.
What have you been doing to maintain your mental health since the pandemic hit?
Dr. Michelle Robin. I'm going to Your Wellness Connection and I think every woman needs to know about Dr. Robin. She offers massages and chiropractic care and she has created a space that is open for everyone. As a black woman, we don't talk about counseling or wellness. Dr. Robin has been excellent for mental health because she helps me build out time in my schedule for taking care of myself, like getting to 10,000 steps or not touching my phone for a few hours. Just those small things that you don't think about when you're taking care of yourself.
Who are five women that inspire you?
Nicole Jacobs Silvey – she's my business partner and very close friend. My grandmother. Those are just two but there are so many women I've been able to meet and develop friendships with and see them grow.